


"the story of us"

by rhythmandbeat (SEUN8MINS)



Series: the galaxy that i'll offer just for you [7]
Category: AB6IX (Band)
Genre: F/M, Heavy Angst, M/M, Park Woojin & Kang Mina implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:15:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21536581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SEUN8MINS/pseuds/rhythmandbeat
Summary: Woong smiles bitterly as he puts his ring, a letter, and a key onto the table. This is no longer his home, he realizes, looking around their supposed to be shared living room. This no longer feels home as he glances at the unopened letter on the table.
Relationships: Jeon Woong & Park Woojin, Jeon Woong/Park Woojin
Series: the galaxy that i'll offer just for you [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1376005
Comments: 6
Kudos: 31





	"the story of us"

**Author's Note:**

> Based on The Last Five Years (musical & movie) and I was kind of bored so I played with my old story with the same title and this is NOT beta-ed so pls forgive me.
> 
> I'mma find the time to write the sequel. 
> 
> The sequence is NOT in order, fyi. The song us Taylor Swift's The Story Of Us (the bold and italic ones)
> 
> Please give me comments on what you think hehe thank you!! (°×°)``

  
_**10\. And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now** _

Woong smiles bitterly as he puts his ring, a letter, and a key onto the table. This is no longer his home, he realizes, looking around their supposed to be shared living room. This no longer feels home as he glances at the unopened letter on the table.

  
This is no longer a home since a long time ago, who is he even kidding?

  
_**9\. But you held your pride like you should have held me** _

  
“What do you want?”

Jeon Woong holds his head up and tries so hard to meet Woojin’s wavering gaze. He almost ---- closely --- says what he wants. He almost --- closely --- does what the younger wants him to do. But he doesn’t.

  
He chooses to shake his head instead. “Go home.”

Woojin is, however, relentless. “Please, Woongie hyung.” He pleads, tries to catch his hands with his own but Woong resists. “Just tell me what I should do to fix this. To fix us.”

“Fix us?” He scoffs at the younger in disbelief. He’s been trying, god knows he’s been trying so hard to fix them but it is not just enough for the two of them. “You can’t fix us. Not anymore.”

“No.” Woojin insists stubbornly, ruffling his hair in frustration and the elder suddenly misses when he used to comb those hair with his own fingers. How he missed untangling the knots on his hair. “There should be something. Anything. Babe,” Woojin calls softly and Woong almost gives up by hearing that from his lips.

  
_It’s been so long since then and I missed you._

Again, Woojin calls. “Babe, please.”

Woojin has always been Woong’s only weakness and he turns around because maybe then this is another chance. Last chance, he tells himself and heaves a sigh. Only to turn around and make a face. He should have not hoped. 

Woojin pockets his phone immediately and the guilt is written all over his face. “I--- I’m sorry. It’s just that---”

He smiles at his husband, pulling the sleeves of his shirt, nodding to convince more of himself than the man standing in front of him. "Yeah, me either. I-- I'm sorry, too."

Woong is sorry. He really is, to be honest. But sorry does not bring back what he and Woojin used to have before. 

  
_**1\. How we met and the sparks flew instantly** _

  
There’s too much noise and Woong is not used to this. He’s been trying his goddamn hardest to memorize the script he’s holding in his arms. There is an audition for a musical he’s been wanting to be part of but not a single word remains in his mind because of the goddamn noise he’s been hearing the past few hours.

He’s a very patient guy (Donghyun, his best friend, would argue otherwise) but his new neighbor is testing it so with clenched teeth and fists, he bangs onto the door opposite his.

This new guy is so inconsiderate, he thinks and if smoke could come out of his nostrils, he knows there will be. This audition is important for him. This always has been his dream since he was younger. He’s always wanted to become a musical actor but this neighbor isn’t helping him.

When the door opens, he is about to yell but is stopped to see the most gorgeous man he’s ever laid his eyes on. He wants to speak and tries to open his mouth but this man in front of him is just glistening. He’s wearing a black tank top that hugs every curve of his equally toned body. His gray hair is wet from sweat and Woong hears nothing but his loud heart beat that is too noisy for his own liking.

  
“Uhm hi?” The stranger danger greets.

  
Woong steps backward. 

  
“Are you --- okay?” Stranger Danger asks him, stepping forward and Woong has to (albeit not wanting to) snap from his reverie before he a.) drops his jaw b.) drops his saliva and that’s going to be so humiliating c.) drops his heart.

  
The shorter ends up clearing his throat and puts on a face. “Can you like lower down the volume of your song?” He tries so hard to be so intimidating but he can’t and it’s obvious by the glaring fact that the other is just smiling at him.

  
He has a snaggle tooth.

  
A snaggle tooth.

  
_Cute_. 

“Thanks?” The snaggle tooth man cuts his thoughts off. “And I’m sorry. I was practicing for my dance recital and I didn’t know it was already too loud. When I get into the dance, I totally lose myself.”

  
This man, in front of man, suddenly turns into puppy eyed mode and steps another forward which makes him backward and backward until he hits his back on something which turns out to be his couch and he hasn’t realized that they are inside his own apartment because this goddamn man in his blank tank top is too mesmerizing to look at.

  
“Oh.” The Stranger Danger’s mouth shapes into an O and looks around his apartment in fascination. “Must be rude of me, I’m Park Woojin, by the way.”

  
Woong stands in stunned silence and mouth agape as he watches Stranger Danger offers his hand for a shake. He’s too stunned to realize that he glances at the offered hand in a slow motion and also tries (and fails) at being subtle.

  
“Jeon --- Jeon Woong.” He stutters in respond.

  
Park Woojin only smiles in return, the ends of his eyes crinkle in delight and Woong is utterly mesmerized. Woojin knows that he has Woong on top of his palm.

  
(But Woong should have realized how Woojin is and has always been different from him. Jeon Woong is an open book like the script left on his table and Park Woojin is a detailed mystery.)

  
_**5\. People would say, "they're the lucky ones"** _

The spotlight is on Woojin as he stands on the stage for his last dance recital before he graduates and Woong is in the cloud nine, admiring him from the distance. He’s memorized all the steps together with his boyfriend as he used to hang out in his practice room.

  
There’s something that has changed.

Because Woojin is suddenly slowing down with his steps until he stops completely along with the music. There’s a deafening silence and Woong’s heart stammers with confusion and worry because Park Woojin has waited all his life to finish this performance and this can’t end badly.

Woong would not let this end badly, he decides to stand up and mimics the steps that Woojin must be dancing right now, trying to meet his gaze as much as he could. Then, Woojin’s head raises and suddenly, there is a mic on his hand.

  
“To the sunshine of my life….” He starts off and Woong can hear the loud beating of his heart. “You gave me the courage to pursue what I have always wanted to do in my life. You wiped my fears and insecurities and loved me for whoever I am.” Woojin is now walking to him.

  
But oh god, it’s been two years since they started dating. It’s been two years and albeit Woojin still continuously giving him butterflies inside his stomach, it’s fast.

The tanned man stops in front of him, they’re both under the spotlight. There are glistening tears threatening to fall from the other’s eyes and Woong wants to wipe them away but he can’t move. He doesn’t move.

For the next moment Woojin does is to kneel down in front of him and Woong almost asks him to stand up as he hears hoots from other people he doesn’t know their names of except for some but he remains steadfast on where he is.

  
This is a little too fast, a little too confusing, a little fast and god, how do you slow down? How does one slow down especially if everything is a little overwhelming? Yes, happy but overwhelming.

“Woojinie---” He calls, choking on his name.

“Shall we spend this lifetime together, Woongie hyung? I want to spend every waking day of my life seeing you and I want you to be the last person I’d see before I go to bed? I want to kiss you everywhere and anytime.”

Woojin waits with an open ring blue box and Woong stands with quivering eyes and heart. It takes a few seconds yet feels like eternal as Woojin nods at him hinting that he got an answer with his silence and Woong should act fast before he misunderstands.

  
“It’s just that---”

“It’s okay.” The taller consoles and the elder knows it’s not okay. _It’s never okay._

Woong, with more courage this time, says. “I want to see you, too, in every waking day of my life. Before anything and after everything, Woojinie, you’re the one I want to be with so yes, I want to spend this lifetime with you.”

  
“Babe…”

The smile on his face, he knows, is a little shaky but with and for Woojin, Woong decides he can jump on a cliff when asked. He’d do anything for the first man he ever loves this much and Woong would do anything to make him the happiest.

His tears fall and Woojin closes their distance to rub his fingers and wipe the tears away before leaning in to kiss him on his forehead. He closes his eyes because he may not be imagining how fast it is but Woong would take it.

“Let’s spend our next lifetimes with each other, okay?” Woojin whispers at him and his words touch Woong’s soul. 

It’s okay, Woong chants in his mind. It’s okay and you’re with Woojinie, Woong. He’s never going to leave you. As long as you’re together. 

Everyone in the auditorium cheers for them, some even clapping their backs in return. 

“So lucky.” Woong hears someone saying.

He doesn’t even know them at all, he feels out of the place here where Woojin shines the most but then Woojin’s arms surround him and thinks this is the safe place, right here. Woong knows he’s safe and he’s okay.

  
Or so he wishes.

_**5.5. I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us** _

  
_I’m sorry._

  
_Please try again next audition._

  
Woong sighs the hardest when he sees the message he’s received from one of the musicals he’s auditioned. Maybe it’s not really his fate and maybe he should just give up and forget his illusion. He pockets his phone as he hears the loud claps from around him.

He looks around and Woojin winks at him after cutting the ribbon in front of his newly opened dance studio. He fakes the most genuine smile he can ever muster and pulls the huge cardboard he made last night. The words Congratulations My Love in his ugly chicken handwriting but it makes Woojin’s eyes shine and laughs at the way he’s struggling and at the same time wiggling it above his head.

Others are looking at him weirdly, he can feel the burning glares on his spot but he gives no fuck because Park Woojin is only looking at him like he’s the world --- the universe --- the sun, the moon, and the brightest star in this world.

So Woong does not mind them. Not one bit. Not even the disappointing message at the back of his jeans because this with Woojin is what all matters. This with Woojin is what he should be focusing. 

  
He only hopes never to regret ever.

_**8\. Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room** _

As soon as Jeon Woong opens the doors to the auditorium, all eyes are trained on him. He winces once the doors loudly bang and catches everyone’s attention. It’s not like he wanted to but he’s so late for Woojin’s biggest dance recital along with the kids and the crew he’s been teaching at the Dance Academy he built as soon as he graduated.

It’s not like he can’t help it but he got stuck in the airport because of his delayed flight and now everything is over and done and it sucks and Woong wants to cry because he’s missed the show by now seeing that the curtains are closed and most people have left.

But he perks once he sees his husband coming out from the backstage. He tries to catch his attention by shaking the flowers he’s bought just minutes ago above his head.

  
“I’m sorry.” He mutters.

  
Woong is sure that his husband has glimpsed on him at the far corner and he’s sure that he has ignored him in favor of welcoming the other guests.

Maybe, Woong deserves this, no matter how many knots he feels inside his stomach right now. Maybe he deserves not to be recognized even by his own husband since he’s failed him so many times before.

He’s about to turn around when a hand on his husband’s chest runs through to brush up the creases on his polo and Woong can’t help but look away because he shouldn’t be seeing this. He doesn’t deserve this. Not at all.

Not by Woojin who’s promised him the world and all the things in it.

  
_**8.5 Is it killing you like it's killing me?** _

The car ride home is silent except for the fact that Woong wants to demand something from his husband. He wants to shout and asks for explanations but he’s scared. He’s so scared that his assumption is going to be real.

How does one accept the truth?

“Babe---” He calls out, turning his body to him.

Woojin is rigid and he feels the walls he’s built around him.

“My flight got delayed and I really am so sorry.”

He sees Woojin’s knuckles turning white from the steering wheel and he remembers how he used to hold his hands without thinking whether his husband would like it or not. Yet, here is --- doubting if his husband would even allow him to.

“Okay.” Woojin answers coldly, not even sparing a glance at him.

Woong bites his quivering bottom lips and looks outside the window. The pain inside his heart sticks all throughout the ride. 

Maybe he shouldn’t have come. It doesn’t feel like he belongs here anymore.

He doesn’t feel like he belongs anywhere anymore.

Not with Woojin by his side anymore and Woong keeps wondering why and how everything has gone wrong for the two of them.

  
_**8.75 Miscommunications lead to fall out** _

Jeon Woong cannot, for the life of him, stay still as he paces at the backstage. This is it, he can feel it. This is the biggest break he’s been waiting for in his life. He’s going back to New York after this and he’s going to leave Ohio for bigger opportunities. Not here in this small Ohio but in New York where Park Woojin is. Where his heart is.

_I’m going back to you, Woojinie._

His hands tremble when he opens his phone to Facetime Woojin. This is what he and his husband always do before going on stage as Woojin’s name appears. This is their tradition but it’s been a few seconds already. He’s just busy, he consoles himself.

The smile comes back as soon as his husband’s face in on the screen and Woong feels like crying.

“Babe, Babe---” The connection is not good as the other calls for him. He hears laughter and noise and Woong wants to cry so badly because he’s going to fuck this up again. Like he’s always done. “I’m sorry, I --- I have to call again. Bye.”

The line goes dead.

His heart goes dead, too.

He cannot believe that this is happening to him. He cannot believe this is happening to his marriage and as he pockets his phone to prepare to go on stage. His name is called and Woong walks onto the stage. There are three judges sitting in front of him, eyes meticulous in each step he takes.

“Your name?”

“Woong Park.”

They acknowledge with a nod and Woong imagines that Woojin, his husband, is just right here --- sitting in one of the empty seats of this auditorium, waiting for him, praying with him, cheering for him because Woong feels like this is it. This could be it. He closes his eyes and thinks of a beautiful tanned man with the goofiest smile on his face.

Jeon Woong is going to make everything right again.

As soon as he opens his eyes, he opens his mouth and sings. He’s poured his heart onto the sing that he almost tears up because the moment his last note ends, he sees the judges staring at him in awe, hands clapping into the loudest claps Woong has ever heard in his entire life.

This feels like the end of his long journey into musical acting. This is it. After this, he is going to run back to Woojin’s arms and make amends on all the things they both have missed for the last two years of their lives and their marriage. He’s going to kiss him senseless until he loses his breath, he’s going to hold his hand and never wanting to let go. Ever. Again.

Hopefully, Woong wishes that Woojin is, wishing the same thing, as well.

(His phone does not receive a call nor a text from Woojin. Neither even after tomorrow.)

  
_Congratulations, Woong Park!_  
_We’re pleased to inform you that you nabbed the role you auditioned for._

_**4\. But I liked it better when you were on my side** _

Woong ignores the pain in his chest soon as he closes the door to his apartment. It’s not his day today. He can’t believe that Christmas is about to come so the cafe is always full and crowded so he’s tired and his boss is not allowing him to take a day off on the Christmas day itself because capitalism, of fucking course.

All he’s wanted is to spend his time with his boyfriend and he’s promised him that. But now, all their plans together are ruined because of him.

“Babe?” Woojin, who is seated on the floor, stands up immediately and frowns when he sees the pout on his face,. “Hey, what’s wrong with you?”

Woong pouts harder.

The other helps him take off his coat and pinches him on his cheek and Woong feels much better than some seconds ago. He wraps his arms around the younger and Woojin is looking at him like he’s some Christmas lights that he can’t take his eyes off of him.

  
He blushes hard. Woojin always makes him feel alive.

  
“What is my baby’s problem? What are you pouting for?” The younger coos at him.

Woong only hums in response and just wants to bury both of them in thick blankets and drink hot chocolate with marshmallows in front of the fireplace (they don’t have one but Woongie hyung, I can make one for you, Woojin tells him before.), no matter how simple that sounds.

Being with Park Woojin makes everything feel right and safe. He’s never felt this way with anyone before.

“IcantspendChristmaswithyou.” He murmurs.

Woojin then puts his hands on his waist, leaning and closing their distance together to sway their bodies, humming to an unknown song that Woojin only knows. He sounds off tune, unlike from the sounds he’s mostly heard from his fellow musical actors and actresses. 

  
However, it’s Woong’s personal favorite tune.

In a while, he then says, “I’m sorry.”

  
  
Woojin looks at him baffled, eyes crinkling as he lowers down his gaze to meet his and Woong almost curls his toes and he knows he’s as red as the tomatoes from his fridge. 

“And why is my baby apologizing?”

Woong juts his lips harder. “I can’t spend Christmas with you. I have a shift! But I want to spend Christmas with you again the way we did last year.” Woong stomps his feet like a little kid in annoyance just thinking about it.

But Woojin only smiles fondly at him, taking his chin in between his fingers who then brushes his lips onto his forehead then slowly onto his nose down to his lips. Woojin tastes like the hot chocolate he wants to have on Christmas Eve.

“It’s okay, baby.”

But he stubbornly shakes his head at his boyfriend. “I want to spend this time with you again. I want to drink hot chocolate and watch Harry Potter movies with you. I want to kiss you under the mistletoe so many times and just ----”

  
He’s cut off when his feels Woojin’s lips on him and he feels like he’s on a cloud nine with his boyfriend’s arms wrapped around him. It’s cold but his heart is warm because of this man standing in front of him.

  
He’s never been this in love as much as this before.

_**4.5 But I would lay my armor down** _

  
His toes are cold but it’s nothing because Woojin’s arms around him. It doesn’t feel ideal, to be honest --- naked and wrapped under thick blankets while the Harry Potter credit is rolling --- but it feels right and satisfying.

Woojin nuzzles his nose on his neck and Woong sighs happily. Being with this man brings him infinite happiness.

“Woongie hyung--” Woojin says, rubbing circles on his stomach. “Do you still feel sad that we can’t spend the day on Christmas eve?”

The thought gives him shudder so he shrugs.

“Do you --- do you --- do you want to move in with me?”

_**What**_.

“Hyung---” Woojin says after a minute of silence. He’s rigid, he knows, but Woojin wants to move in with him. He wants to move in with him. “Don’t you like it? I mean, it means I can get to see you every day and every night? I know that we’re both starting still but we can just rent even if it’s something small. I just want to start this with you.” He rambles.

  
But nothing really stays in his mind except for the fact that he wants to be with Woong. He, an uncertain theater actor, working as a part-time waiter in a coffee shop, with a bleak future compared to Park Woojin, an online sensation and a topnotch choreographer.

And he wants to move in with him.

“Hyung?”

Woojin turns him around and worry is all over his face as he runs his fingers on his face. He doesn’t realize that he’s crying until Woojin. “Don’t you like the idea, hyung?”

“Just that ---” He sighs deeply. “are you sure? You want to move in with me?”

  
“Why not?”

  
“It’s just me ---- I’m just ---- me.” His face turns into a disgust just thinking of how pathetic he is.

“Hyung!” Woojin yells, sitting up with him. He has his hands firmed on his shoulders and Woong can’t --- doesn’t --- want to meet eyes with him because he knows what’s to say. He’s going to agree, he’s a loser and a pathetic person --- he knows that and he doesn’t need the confirmation from anyone anymore.

  
But Woojin kisses him again on his forehead and says, “Love.” He breathes slowly and Woong is nervous with how intense the other is looking at him --- at how the other feels like he’s going to burst at any moment. “I hope you see what I see in you. You’re beautiful --- you’re the universe, you’re talented --- you’re --- god, you’re mine. So I want you to move in with me, yeah?”

And god, Woong grabs his on his shoulders and cries on his chest loudly because “Yes, fuck, yes, I’d move in with you. Anywhere, with you, I’d go with you.”

__  
_**7\. I don't know what to say since the twist of fate** _

Woojin’s lips leaves marks on Mina’s body. He knows he shouldn’t be enjoying and shouldn’t be memorizing each curve on her body but he can’t help it. 

His husband is not with him in New York and he’s been busy with the theater people around him in Ohio. He doesn’t have time to fulfill what he wants and what he needs so it’s okay.

It’s okay, it’s reasonable, he convinces himself because Mina is here --- is present with him --- he traces his finger at the back of her curve, the same finger that traced Woong’s and he’s going to burn in hell for this.

He misses his husband so much, loves him so much, wants to be with him so much. But his husband has been ignoring his calls and messages and he just needs this so fucking much. Woong can’t satisfy what he needs right now.

  
And Mina --- Mina is standing there on the foot of his (their) bed looking like an angel. So he’s take the hell route for one night of this.

_**7.5 I used to know my place was the spot next to you** _

New York is colder today but Woong doesn’t mind as he pulls the blankets and makes a fort on their rooftop. All he knows is that this has been their fifth year together and since he doesn’t have shows as of now, he’d rather spend it with his husband after a missed summer together.

He knows himself that he lacks as a husband for the younger but he’s going to make sure that he can rebuild each other again.

It’s been five years since Woojin opened his heart to love again.

Three since they vowed to love each other faithfully. Woong is going to make their fifth year more special.

So he cooks his special crab pasta that he’s learned from one of his co-actors in Ohio and prepares a bottle of wine in the ice bucket. He’s sent a text message to his husband, asking the time he’s coming home because even Woojin doesn’t know he’s coming to New York this time. 

He received a cold 8pm and accepts because Woojin doesn’t have an idea he’s home. What he and Woojin have been getting colder the past few months ever since he started acting again but he’s going to make this work.

He’s never giving up Woojin. Ever.

The scheme is perfect as he eyes all over the rooftop. The white screen and projector are perfectly placed in front of his makeshift fort of blankets and pillows. There are littered red roses on the floor and ---

_“What’s this?” Woong asks in amusement as he sees his apartment full of red roses even on the floor as soon as he comes out of his bedroom._

  
_It’s a pleasant surprise especially seeing a tanned man waiting in his kitchen with his Pooh apron on and another bouquet of roses on his hands. He can’t help but blush to see him in his kitchen like he owns it._

_Woojin smirks at him, walking to give the bouquet of roses. “I heard that you have an audition today so I cooked you some breakfast!” He waves to the table full of different kinds of bread and pancakes._

  
_His eyes light up by the gesture that he can’t help but jump on his place. “Are they all for me?”_

_The other shrugs in response and leads Woong to the table full of different kinds of breakfast. Woong digs in, his heart is full as Woojin watches him with eagerness as he devours the food._

  
It’s been two hours and he’s not sure why he’s lying on the ground, watching the sky. There’s not much in the sky but he’s not giving up.

_**7.75 Now I’m searching the room for an empty seat** _

10 pm has passed.

  
Another one.

  
Then another half.

  
Woong drags his arms on his face and when he touches his face, that’s when he realizes that he’s actually crying now.

_Don’t cry, fool._

He remembers how it reminds him the day they were in the airport and Woojin seemed like he was about to cry. He remembered how the other man wouldn’t let go of him and how he pulled him back on his chest when he started walking away.

There’s a knot in his chest and he feels out of breath instantly.

“Babe---” The door opens.

Woong sits and stands up from the floor. He watches as Woojin’s face turns from worn out to shock then down to sorry.

This feels like a repetitive story that Woong knows the ending.

“I--- I just ---” Woojin tries to explain. “I’m sorry.”

He shushes him with his fingers on his lips, eyes not meeting his. He nods. “I know.”

There’s an exhale of relief.

Woong looks up to meet his gaze and smiles bitterly. “Because I am, too. I’m sorry.” He’s too tired to try once more so he passes by him but is stopped with Woojin’s fingers on his arm.

  
“Listen babe----”

Woong shakes his head and pries off his fingers a little slow, cherishing the moment to stand in front of the man he’s loved this much. He meets his eyes --- this time --- no matter how red and puffy his own eyes are --- he can feel the coldness because he’s giving up.

Yet, no matter how much he looks for the answers inside his mind, he can’t see the same man he loved before. He’s not the same person he fell in love with before. He’s trying to give more reasons --- hold onto them --- but it’s different.

They’re different.

This man standing in front of him is no longer the boy he fell in love five years back anymore.

He can’t fight a battle that he knows the ending to.

  
_**6\. So many things I wish you knew** _

It's a surprise visit and neither he expects to see himself in front of Woojin's dance studio but he gets off work a little early because there isn't much people in the cafe so he's a little excited to see his husband.

He has some pizza boxes and a bottle of coke both on his hands so when he opens the glass door, they all scatter on the wooden floor.

His husband pushes himself off a woman from him and runs to help him out whose eyes are a little indifferent from him.

"Hi, ba--babe." Woojin says in lieu of greeting, kissing him on his cheeks. "Weren't expecting to see you here."

Woong tries to gather the pizza and coke on the floor, wiping it with the tissue with him, trying not to look at the others. "Yea-- me neither. It's just that -- he -- they --- uhhh--" He mumbles unintelligibly.

So unlike of him, to be honest.

Jeon Woong has always been confident of himself when it comes to his social skills. He's friendly and easily gets to be close to other people. Today, however, is a little different as he clumsily fights the pain in his chest and the tears on his eyes.

  
"Babe---" Woojin calls for him again, helping him out, trying to take the tissue away from him. "That's fine. It's okay, Andrew will take care of it."

  
But he can't hear him --- doesn't hear him anymore. He only hears the anger in his heart with how close his husband and this girl used to be before he opened the door. Were they about to kiss each other? Does his husband like him?

_Are you cheating on me?_

  
"Hi." The girl greets cheerily and Woong has to stop what he's doing and stands up, trying to be brave. You can do it, Woong. "My name's Mina and I'm one of the crew members with Woojinie. You're Woojinie's husband, right?"

  
_Woojinie ---_

That’s his nickname for his husband.

  
The brunette fakes the brightest smile he can ever muster. The smile that has fooled a lot of people. A little crinkle of his eyes more and the widest opening of his lips and voila he's perfect again.

  
"Yes, I'm Woong. My pleasure meeting you."

  
It's not, really, but he is Woong, the friendliest man to ever grace this planet. He hopes that Mina buys it or if she doesn’t, he hopes that she is going to pretend that this never happens.

  
_**6.25 So many walls up I can’t break through** _

“Love.”

Silence.

“Love.”

Woong ignores him.

“She’s just a friend.”

The brunette turns to him and nods. Woojin himself is trying to convince nobody in this car. Not him, not even himself. But he’s going to hold on to the words the other is ready to spout, no matter how nonsense it is.

  
He’s ready to trust him again --- to trust even the words from the same lips that has just uttered the biggest lie he’s ever known in this world. It always start like this --- denial to heart being broken.

  
“Babe, come on. Do you want to go to the movies?”

  
Outside, the lightning roars.

“I’m tired. Let’s just go home.” He tells him.

Sometimes, he feels like home is no longer his home.

_Are you worth it?_

  
_**6.5 And you're doing your best to avoid me** _

“What.” 

  
If looks could kill, Woong knows he’s dead by now, judging with the fact that Woojin’s eyes are zeroed on him, hands on his hips, walking to and fro in different places in their room, but never leaving his eyes.

“You--- you’re leaving me?” His husband asks in confusion. “You’re going to Ohio and leave me here in New York, is that it?”

“I---”

Woojin halts and sighs, disappointment rushing through his face. “You said that we’d be here together, Love? What happened?”

_Crushed dreams._

_Left wants and self-disappointments._

_The stage --- the spotlight --- the songs_

  
Woong clenches his fists into a ball and chants I can do this. “Just for this summer, babe. It’s just that the musical I’ve been wanting to be part of would be in Ohio and it’s really a good chance again.”

His husband shakes his head and turns his back and Woong can feel the disappointment seeping right through him. But it’s what he wants since he was younger and time waits for nobody in this world.

There isn’t much time left.

He stands to wrap his arms around Woojin and the other is rigid with the way he touches him. He should be blamed for this --- for wanting more --- for wanting out of his husband’s shadow. He needs this. To prove himself that he can do more.

“I’ve been wanting this ever since I gave it up, Love. I saw how happy you were dancing and --- and I feel like this one --- right here --- this is what I want and this what is going to make me happy.”

“Don’t I make you happy?” He questions, bitterness lingering in his mouth.

“No -- no, don’t think that way.” Woong responds, burying his face onto Woojin even more. “I see a different kind of happiness in you --- when you’re absorbed with dancing or teaching and I want that. I’ve been wanting that before we even got married, you know that.”

“But how about me? Here in New York? How about the family we’ve been trying to build?”

“Just for a summer, Woojinie. Just for this summer.”

Woojin unwraps himself from Woong and faces him, face void of any emotions. “You’re decided about this.”

“Babe---”

  
“It’s okay for you to leave me while you chase whatsoever in another part of this goddamn country. I can’t change your mind now, can I?”

“Babe---”

Woojin sighs and says, “I just wish you’d tell me more…. or ask for what I think because this is not just any relationship, Woongie. It’s marriage --- a union between two people. You just can’t decide like this. By yourself.”

“I’m sorry.” He utters.

His husband only shakes his head in return and leaves the room with his aching heart. He can only watch with threatening tears as he watches his man walk away without fixing their problem for the first time in their lives.

_Why can’t you be happy for me?_

_**2\. I'm starting to think one day, I'll tell the story of us** _

  
There are two arms wrapping around his torso and the elder gets more comfortable into his position. There’s a contented hum from his back and he turns to see Woojin staring at him like he’s the most precious in this world.

“I still don’t understand it.” Woojin says, disbelief echoing in his voice then trapping his legs in between his. “I don’t get it.”

He laughs at the other as the wind from the back of the younger’s pick up car passes them by. “What about it?”

Woojin intertwines their fingers and seeing how different they are, Woong feels a little uneasy. “How everyone has left you and you think you deserved it? No, fuck no, you never deserved it.”

“They were so good at making me feel like in my life, people only come and go.” He replies nonchalantly. Because it’s true. He’s experienced people coming into his life only to go afterwards.

“Fools, all of them, for leaving you.” Woojin kisses his knuckles like he meant every word but Woong dreads if it’s real or not. “But guess what their loss is actually my win.”

Woong laughs loudly and he knows he shouldn’t believe but he wants to.

“You all say that.” He snorts at the younger. “Chan said that. Gon said that. Everyone has promised me the stars --- the universe yet they still all left me.”

“I’m not going to be one of them.” Woojin’s face turns more serious this time and if Woong allows himself, he wants to believe in his words and the way Woojin looks tonight. It’s different. Woojin has always been different from the rest of them. “I’m never going to leave you.”

  
But they all promised the same thing and he wishes that this time, it’s real. This time, he wishes that Woojin never thinks of leaving him at all.

  
“Why do you think they all have left me after getting what they wanted? Do you think I’m not worth fighting for?” He asks, more to himself than to his lover.

Woojin wraps his arms tighter, feeling suffocated but maybe this is what Woong prefers. To be never let go. “You will always be worth fighting for, Love.”

“Then why do they keep leaving me in the end?”

“Well--- I can’t answer that for them but there is only one answer from me that you can hold on.”

“And that is?”

  
“The day I leave you is the day I would die in this lifetime. You better lock me up, chain me down because I’d rather be with you than be anywhere else without you.” Woojin says, turning his face toward him and Woong wants to melt because Woojin looks so serious and real this time. He wants to trust Woojin with his heart --- the one where everyone has been jarring all this time.

  
Woong holds on tighter to Woojin. “How lucky have I been to be in love with you, Woongie hyung.”

  
He wants to trust but it’s so hard when he’s been playing the exact game for a long time already.

_**2.5 How I was losing my mind when I saw you here** _

  
Woojin is belting out a Korean ballad song and it’s been long since he’s last heard it. He is flat and singing off tune and sounds so different from the rest of the actors and actresses he’s been with as he is a musical actor.

Yet it feels lighter --- nicer --- more beautiful hearing his voice than anything in this world. He’d rather Woojin’s voice and the laughter that comes out from him and stay with him than anything.

In this passenger seat of Woojin’s old pick up car, blasting different Korean songs as the wind enters from the cold outside of New York.

He glances at how Woojin looks so so happy right now, left hand on a steering wheel and another holding his very own hand, singing his heart out, alternating in making their joined hands as a microphone or kissing them, Woong feels like he’s in his happiest cloud nine ever. He thinks he can believe in Woojin and in what they have.

Jeon Woong thinks that with Park Woojin, he can have his own forever.

_**9\. But you held your pride like you should have held me** _

  
“What do you want?”

Jeon Woong holds his head up and tries so hard to meet Woojin’s wavering gaze. He almost ---- closely --- says what he wants. He almost --- closely --- does what the younger wants him to do. But he doesn’t.

  
He chooses to shake his head instead. “Go home.”

Woojin is, however, relentless. “Please, Woongie hyung.” He pleads, tries to catch his hands with his own but Woong resists. “Just tell me what I should do to fix this. To fix us.”

“Fix us?” He scoffs at the younger in disbelief. He’s been trying, god knows he’s been trying so hard to fix them but it is not just enough for two. “You can’t fix us. Not anymore.”

“No.” Woojin insists stubbornly, ruffling his hair in frustration and the elder suddenly misses when he used to comb those hair with his own fingers. How he missed untangling the knots on his hair. “There should be something. Anything. Babe,” Woojin calls softly and Woong almost gives up by hearing that from his lips.

  
It’s been so long since then and I missed you. 

Again, Woojin calls. “Babe, please.”

Woojin has always been Woong’s only weakness and he turns around because maybe then this is another chance. Last chance, he tells himself and heaves a sigh. Only to turn around and make a face. He should have not hoped. 

  
Woojin pockets his phone immediately and the guilt is written all over his face. “I--- I’m sorry. It’s just that---”

He smiles at his husband, pulling the sleeves of his shirt, nodding to convince more of himself than the man standing in front of him. "Yeah, me either. I-- I'm sorry, too. Because if there is anything, I’m sure it was my fault.”

Woong is sorry. He really is, to be honest. But sorry does not bring back what he and Woojin used to have before. 

He’s about to go when Woojin suddenly runs in front of him to stop him from walking out and Woong is not good at confrontations. Not like this because Woojin looks like he’s confused.

“It’s my birthday, Woojin.” He says, this time calmly. “It’s my birthday and you can’t--- you don’t want to spend this day with me. You’d rather spend it with your crew as they lick your ego more and more when you could be spending it with me. With your fucking husband.”

“I’m here now.” Woojin opens his arms widely.

The elder sighs, frustration coming out as he clenches his left fist to rub it on his head. When he looks at Woojin, the latter looks a little baffled by his words. “Yeah, are you really here with me? You barely left your fucking phone alone.” He steps and snatches the phone which has Woojin snatching back immediately. “Let’s see who you are fucking right now.”

  
“What are you talking about? Fucking? Who--- what, you’re being ridiculous right now, you know?”

  
Woong’s face morphs into a face that has given up already. He’s tired of trying to pretend. 

  
“Am I, Woojin?” He questions seriously. “Am I going crazy about you and --- her? Is everything just all in my head? Tell me.” He lies his point finger on his chest. “Is it not real?”

  
“You weren’t there!” Woojin yells back and he stills on his place looking back at his husband. “You haven’t been there since you went back here in Ohio where you’re chasing your selfish dreams.”

  
“M—my selfish dreams?” He stutters.

  
“You could have stayed in New York. With me, your husband as we build our dreams together. You could be with me and you’re --- here.”

  
“Our dreams? Together?” His voice breaks the way his heart does. “Where do you put me in your dreams, Woojin? Where should I put myself in your dreams?”

  
“With me, by my side!” Woojin’s shouting this time. “Are you so scared to see me flying like this? Are you scared to see me growing and you staying as a---”

  
“As a what, Woojin? Huh?” Woong embraces himself to support himself from an impending heartbreak. “As a loser Jeon Woong, is that what it is?”

  
The realization of how heavy Woojin’s words are evident on the younger’s face and he wants to cry because this hurts so much he feels like he’s dying.

  
“Every second and minute of my life, Woojin, I’ve always wondered about the questions hanging on my head. Of what and where went wrong and how this comes into this bitter end.” Woong rubs his tears from his face. “So yeah, you’re the King of your world and I’m just nobody ---- the guy trying to make it big but can’t even do it properly.”

  
“Babe---”

  
Woong nods in understanding and takes all the words --- all the pains --- all the heartbreaks because this is the most painful heartbreak he’s ever had in his life. Because he believed in Park Woojin the most.

  
“You cheating on me is okay. It hurts yeah but it does not pain me as much as what you have thought --- what you think of me. I feel like you’ve stepped on what I’ve been working so hard to build all these years. You step on my heart and my soul like it’s nothing for you.” 

  
The silence that follows cuts through Woong’s spine and heart. Let it be known that he tried but sometimes, trying is never enough. Not when he gets radio silence from the other. Not when he feels like all he wants is to lie down and cry.

  
With the wind that kisses them, everything feels like the goodbye he’s been longing for the longest time.

  
Woong is about to go back to the auditorium when he remembers something.

  
“I think I got it. Why everyone before you left --- and why you’re leaving the same way they did. I’m just not worth it, I guess. Not the effort. Not the love. But, thanks I guess? For passing by.”

  
Woong nods and leaves.

Woojin does not go after him. It's not like he wants to. 

(That is a lie.)

_**10\. And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now** _

Woong smiles bitterly as he puts his ring, a letter, and a key onto the table. This is no longer his home, he realizes, looking around their supposed to be shared living room in New York. This no longer feels home as he glances at the unopened letter on the table.

  
This is no longer a home since a long time ago, who is he even kidding?

  
Woojin has left. Woojin is gone. The empty room is an evidence. This letter in his hand solidifies what Woong has been fearing the moment he’s met Park Woojin.

_**11\. The End.** _

_Dear Woong,_

  
_I have packed my things and would leave you this house for yourself. It’s not a colateral nor a compromise. I know that I’m not the only one hurting in this._

_You have never seen how crack has opened by now. I tried so hard to help you out by I could never rescue you. I have ran out of ropes and hopes that we could still be okay._

  
_Maybe this is for the best for the both of us. Good bye and I hope one day you’d find the heart in you to be happier. Even without me. I’m sorry that I can’t give you the lock to chain me up like I’ve promised you._

_WJ._

  
(Jeon Woong never opens the letter.)


End file.
